Saturday, April 09, 2005
still haven't recovered from yesterday... shock i guess. thinking of the things i did yesterday was indeed quite shocking. but what's done is done. there's no way of turning back time. and i don't wish to turn back time.
had lunch at paramount again but this time with mom and dad's friends. left early for violin though. but in the end, i pon violin. why? cause i believed i was not feeling well. and i would not be able to hold even a violin. so fiona was with me and got very pissed with me cause she was staying with me the whole time when she did not want to. and she couldn't leave cause she was holding my violin. and mom knew i pon violin in the end. must be that fiona.
and in the end, i was too afraid to face mom. so i decided to go home. so yeah. took bus home. and made an excuse to dad saying that i need to go home and study. okay. so end of story. not sure if mom still angry with me.
went to dad's friend house at jurong for dinner yesterday night. had fun. although it was nearly all adults. and i enjoyed chatting with the adults. had always find it very entertaining. so yeah. stayed until 12 plus. and the house was nice. =)
bursted into tears very easily yesterday. in fact it was a few times. shan't talk about it. if not i'll start crying again. oh. and one smelly stinky idiot made me cry too. although normal people wouldn't cry. but yesterday was different. oh. and i nearly wanted to take pills. not really to take my life. but sort of.
and yes. i think i'm on the edge of ruining a ONCE so perfect friendship. i can't be bothered anymore. i don't care anymore. and stop using your usual trick of saying you got nothing to say if i think that way. and leave me speechless. don't act like you care cause you don't. even if you have no intention of ruining this friendship, i may have. and sometimes, when you put all the blame on me, why don't you ever think if you've any faults. the only thing you know is how to put the blame on others.
sorry claaar for all your advice. but i seriously can't take it anymore. i don't care what's the consequences if she ever read this.okay. i guess i should start studying for mep now. to prevent me from bursting into tears again.
so many things have been happening. i don't know which one i should worry about. [48 more days to Canada]
can i run away from everything just by going to Canada?
vicki the SEXY sunshine loves you!
11:33 PM